The theme song warns you and, ya know what, when a theme song warns you to keep away from “The Forest”, you do it. And, you do it fast!
I ask the question: Does our intrepid foursome get their thrills out of ignoring a perfectly straightforward theme song or do they not hear the song?!
How about some plot? I’ve got it for you fresh?...All right! Here we go: Two couples, one fighting and one full of bliss, go into the deep forest for a camping excursion. Ladies first, then the men. Legends abound of people entering the woods and disappearing. Our couples go in and they meet the kids...the odd kids hiding from their mother and staying with their father. Dad lives in a cave where he eats strange, strange meat. Night falls. Something begins stalking them. Something in the forest wants to kill them.
There you have it, my friends.
They get stalked and, yes, they get hurt. What are you gonna do about it?
This is slurpy, syrupy and chunky. This forest is filled with flashbacks and strange women in their bathrobes and these kids. The couples are sweet enough but no one wants to see them die. Or do you? Jerk.
Well, I noticed something in “The Forest” that I didn’t notice in others of its ilk. I think it pulled all this wonder and magic off by scaling down the characters to the absolute minimum. By laying bare everything about this sub genre of horror, they have laid me bare.
Here’s what I’ve seen:
The woods are not as strange as “Don’t Go In The Woods,” as sexy as “The Final Terror,” nor as deep as my heart. But, what they are is very, very real, very, very alive. Very very.
“The Forest” is all around everyone in this movie. Including the man who likes to eat people. Now, that guy’s a jerk.
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