Plot (with love, from me to you): A rather pointy bearded film director is casting a new film. It’s big! How big? Big big! The leading lady’s name is Audra! A woman who is commanding in many ways although none of them is really elucidated in the movie but that’s not the point. Hey, let me just interject! Given the chance to be the lead in a movie, I’d stay in an insane asylum. I’d fight it out with a group of young hopefuls trying to take it all away from me. I’d do it, I say! But, the director’s female friend in this movie doesn’t look so keen on doing it. Oh dear.
That’s why someone starts killing everyone.
Be grateful! That’s my tip to you! If a big time director wants to fool with your Area, let him do it! My God, life’s too short to jerk around here! If you want the creamy filling, you have to eat the spongy cake! If you want a juicy melon, you do what you have to do! Please folks! Huh?
So, these young hopefuls assemble at the director’s home (Stryker’s his name) to try to get the part. There’s the good-looking ballerina, the good-looking skater, the good-looking comedy lady, the older lady and the friend of the director. I think there was one more who almost made it to the end but I may have already mentioned her. And, there was the blonde who dies in her home.
The blonde has this weird dream with a rainstorm and country roads. Her car pulls over because there is a child standing there. But, it’s not a child. It’s a doll. It grabs her arms and she’s killed. But, she wakes up. Then, she’s killed. The doll shows up for real later. It’s always too bad when they kill off the psychic character so quickly.
Notice this? I did. The comedienne’s monologue at the beginning is very similar to the one at the end. But, I think the end one is just a little funnier. It’s all in the delivery.
Anyways, the girls hiss at each other, connive for the director’s attention and generally try to do what I would do if I were in that situation. It’s just that killer who causes some trouble. He’s wearing an old lady mask (or is it she?) is one hell of a skater and is able to maneuver very vivaciously through air ducts. The killer, to me, is saying two things: 1) the aforementioned “Be grateful” and 2) sometimes it is easier to kill someone then tell them no. Oh, and 3) these are movies for God’s sake do whatever is necessary to get into them. Hey, I ain’t saying I’d wear an old lady mask and slaughter people for a big movie role but...Oh wait...I am.
Curtains takes the normal “outside” approach to cinema and brings it “inside.” Oh, and what a job! Every performance etches itself strongly on the mind. But, the two very strongest are Stryker and Audra. He is a jerk and she’s practically every woman in the world to so many.
Let’s recap, because I think it’s important. If a major Hollywood guy looks like he might be on the verge of offering you a part in his film, do anything necessary and be grateful. (Of course, the age old maxim “Don’t be a jerk” always stands.) Be selfish! It’s your life! I can’t live it for you! What would I do with my own?
Curtains
Breathe a sigh of relief. This one’s for the whole family.
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