And it ends...

We hope you enjoyed The Collected Movie Reviews of Cyril P. Drathmoor. Cyril Shall Return!!!!!!

-Dan Budnik


Drathmoor's Countryside Nostalgia Column

Where the down home is in your home & that smell is nothing but love

Well, the Christmas Season is wrapping up and the New Year is fast approaching. Of course, one of the strongest memories we all share of the New Year is when our parents would allow us to stay up to Midnight. I know a lot of kids who were allowed but never quite made it. I remember hearing all the stories from friends when I was younger & even now. These are such great stories. Beautiful epics of little kids trying to make it to 12 Midnight and welcome in the glory of the New Year! I, personally, was very surprised at all of this. Gazing back on my childhood memories, I see that my parents never let me stay up past 9 until I was 12, then 10 until I was 15, then 11 on weekends, then... well, I could go on like this for quite a while... But, wow, wasn't that great! All you folks getting to stay up so, so late when you were little. I'd ask you to write in with more of your stories but I've heard enough.

It's interesting, too. I've never actually stayed up until Midnight on New Year's Eve. I always fall asleep. (New Year's Day, I can stay up with no problem!) I've taped New Year's Eve and watched it in the morning. But, never seen it live... Probably pretty exciting, huh? Wow! Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding!

Ahhh... the New Year. Deep breaths.

So, as it's the (Almost) New Year, I thought I'd have a glance at all that has passed through my life in the previous year. Well, let's have it...

It was an interesting year. I didn't see my family much. They were out and about, doing what they do. My brother, especially, is a real country hopper, they say. Me? Apart, from a few weeks away, I was here in Turbot all year. It's a great town. My trailer overlooks several beautiful trailers, in their own way, in the center of the park so I have absolutely nothing to complain about. And, love!... Well, love... What can you say? What can I say? I didn't get much this year. Hey, it happens! We all go through bad years. Some of us more than others. I'd say that I'm without love pretty average for my height. It doesn't get lonely, though. I have a collection of old underpants that I talk to. I'm kidding, of course. No, I have a hamster named Theremin who loves me dearly as long as I feed him. My trailer has never smelt better. It's all about disinfectants here, folks. All about making things smell better than you do after being in your own mess for about 7 or 8 days. Life is sweet, life is grand, life is a glorious escapade. That's what people say. But, once again, I'm in the staying up late on New Year's Eve spot.

But, life goes on. People have bad years. Well, maybe not rich or successful people. (Of course, they're unhappy. Just in different ways not involving poverty, need or disappointments.) And, maybe not people with really great families. (Of course, even really great families have troubles, too. Hell, I don't know where mine is!) But, there are people who have bad years and then good years. Although using the year as your template may not be terrifically accurate, it does work well.

So, I've had a not-so-great year. It had its moments, though. I can't say it didn't. I won't bore you with them here but they happened. So...

There you have it. New Year's, what a time. Join me in my column next year as we stroll through nostalgia's highways & byways to find signs of life or places we can hide.

Won't you journey with me?


A Safe Christmas

Everybody enjoys Christmas. It's the one time of the year when you can really be yourself (or somebody else). You can really just have a great, great time. Wow! This is a time for everyone, stinky and non-stinky alike.

Certain features of the holiday, however, can be quite lovely but dangerous. Let me give you a list.

- The time to buy gifts is before December 24. Do NOT rush on the 24th willy-nilly trying to buy. Especially if you're drunk.

- A tree is a great addition to any house but do not light real candles on it. They can flame up & kill everyone. Death is a tough sin to wash off the hands.

- Enjoy egg nog in limited quantities. That's a lot of egg, that's a lot of nog. And, you'll throw up all over yourself if you have too much.

- Light are nice. They blink, they don't, they're very festive. But, do not wrap them around a cat. Cats are unpredictable creatures with a penchant for running away. Lights are electrical objects with a penchant for electrocuting living beings.

- Presents are wonderful. But, don't give goofy. Nothing ruins a holiday more than getting a gift that clearly was not thought out beforehand. Consider who you're buying for before you buy.

- Fruitcake is a caring & traditional gift but no one eats it.

- If you've eaten too much at dinner, take five.. and then eat some more.

- Do not drink the tree water.

And last but not least...

- Santa's bo-bo's are for thankin', not yankin'.