Everybody enjoys Christmas. It's the one time of the year when you can really be yourself (or somebody else). You can really just have a great, great time. Wow! This is a time for everyone, stinky and non-stinky alike.
Certain features of the holiday, however, can be quite lovely but dangerous. Let me give you a list.
- The time to buy gifts is before December 24. Do NOT rush on the 24th willy-nilly trying to buy. Especially if you're drunk.
- A tree is a great addition to any house but do not light real candles on it. They can flame up & kill everyone. Death is a tough sin to wash off the hands.
- Enjoy egg nog in limited quantities. That's a lot of egg, that's a lot of nog. And, you'll throw up all over yourself if you have too much.
- Light are nice. They blink, they don't, they're very festive. But, do not wrap them around a cat. Cats are unpredictable creatures with a penchant for running away. Lights are electrical objects with a penchant for electrocuting living beings.
- Presents are wonderful. But, don't give goofy. Nothing ruins a holiday more than getting a gift that clearly was not thought out beforehand. Consider who you're buying for before you buy.
- Fruitcake is a caring & traditional gift but no one eats it.
- If you've eaten too much at dinner, take five.. and then eat some more.
- Do not drink the tree water.
And last but not least...
- Santa's bo-bo's are for thankin', not yankin'.
Have a HAPPY HOLIDAY!
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