At firs I thought "What a gay time this is!" with all the scares & the death & the learning something about ourselves going on. But now, I just don't know. I know killers can cut your throat but those editors! My gosh, they hire me, they fire me, I'm considering a job with Elise in Accounts Payable at the Prepared Beef Plant, they re-hire me. I've almost no love left to give.
The Without A Conscience phase (farrago?) really threw me through the ringer. I have one, I don't, I do, I don't. Well, the final word on it is yes...yes, I do but I don't always use it. This all means...not much, I imagine. I'm trying not to lead anyone astray but instead attempting to present you with exactly what you need from a review. I will not, repeat, will not cover you in hollow lies. I sure hope.
It's odd. I've been looking back on previous reviews. Taking long looks at what I've written. Trying to use the knowledge I've gained to help me through. I've picked up a thing or two but a lot of it is pretty hazy. I don't know. Getting fired ruptured my glorious continuity. All I have here are pieces. That's all that remains. Strangely enough, and I'm not meaning for this to be bonerific, this week's movie is called Pieces.
My boy, it is a bloody film. Heads go flying around, arms flop off, a girl's lower half is taken, which leaves her halfless in the locker room shower, a set of nabolis is clawed off, multiple stabbings and complete dismemberment. I turned away a couple times. This is too much. I guess they're trying to get the kids in.
During WWI, at the home of a space age family with a push button phone, a little boy is putting together a puzzle of a naked lady. His Mom finds it and goes into a well-deserved tizzy because, apparently, the boy's father had a similar disposition. Well, the boy chops his mom's head off & acts like someone else did it.
Lesson #1: Boys who use an ax to decapitate their mothers are crazy.
Cut to the present:
A college in Boston, a small suburb of Madrid, Spain (it is a small world), is terrorized by (although, no one but the faculty learn about) a killer. A killer who is only taking pieces of the bodies. He is making a life-size female puzzle from real dead parts using his old blood stained puzzle as a reference!
Lesson #2: It's the boy from the beginning. All grown up.
The police begin to investigate. There are a bunch of shady characters including the principal, the biology professor, the chainsaw wielding gardener and the principal. But, they can't find our slasher. More women lose their parts in some very messy scenes. An undercover cop/ tennis pro is put in the school. She's a nice lady.
Lesson #3: When the cop is asked if they have any leads and he says "We're just out buying clothes without labels and trying them on for size." This means: No, we do not have any leads.
The search goes on and there is some strange behavior. An odd karate instructor, a motorcycle that sounds exactly like a chainsaw, a fat kid who appears in many places at once, an aerobics class that goes on and on, a student who becomes an honorary cop and a scene where the suspense pivots around how fast the killer can prepare a cup of instant coffee.
Lesson #4: Apparently, you can get a great day job working on the police force if you need to make some extra cash. Especially if you're a tennis pro. (Are you really a pro at something if you need to take a second job to supplement your income?) (What about product endorsements?)
So, everyone comes together in the magic and people die but not everyone and I gotta go.
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