In Time For Halloween...

A haunted house movie? We don't get many of those by here. Let's enjoy it while we have it. I went to Maurice, manager of the Rialto, and thanked him for the change of pace. He just laughed and laughed. I used to think he was a joyous man but since I came back I'm not so sure. Joviality is pungent.

Carnage is the film this week. It's about a couple moving into their dream house. But, it's haunted and everybody dies.

But, that's only part of the story.

No. Actually, that's all of the story.

It's only part of what happens.

This strange, strange place. I thought they were living in a house of the damned and they were already dead. They move so languid, so lifeless. They coast through the movie without getting a single emotion to register in me. How did they do this? How did they put me into such a strange, strange mind frame? It filled up my head and jammed itself in there. I didn't know. I just didn't know.

Then, I realized what it was. The force that was doing this to me... Terrible, terrible acting. These people were absolutely no good at what they were doing. You wouldn't allow someone to fix your plumbing who wasn't a plumber. Why would you allow people in your film who clearly can't act? I mean, Good Gravy, two words from these people and you want to die. What kind of a way is this to run a movie?! Not a good one is my response.

And, the look of the film. Well, I don't want to anger anybody but I think it's just poorly made. Looks like crap, sounds like crap, hey, how about this... it is crap! I could be too harsh but I doubt it. Maybe this is why I don't watch haunted house movies more often.

And, those killings! The spirit who pulls out the intestines...  please tell me it's deliberately using a string or wire to yank them out. If I wasn't supposed to see that wire, why was it so obvious? Every facet of the film is like this. What the hell happened to Hollywood? I mean, are they really truly making junk like this?

I'd love to elaborate on something in this movie but all they do is talk and talk and talk and talk and... Jesus Saves! Stop talking! (Another thing: Carnage in what fashion? This is unlike any carnage that I've ever seen. It's extremely dull. Surely carnage must involve something interesting happening at some point. Why not write to me with what you think carnage is and if it involves this movie in any fashion.)

So, in conclusion, forget it.