The Holidays are here! And, I have shined my shoes and spread the grease on my spats! My favorite time of the year is here! And, contrary to my popular opinion, Hollywood have obliged.
Pre-Review: This is not the sequel to anything. Before my holiday commences, I'm glad we are now back to the world of proper film.
Actual Review: Oh, I know this week it's Home Sweet Home, a festive slash-em-up that takes place all over Thanksgiving. I know it's about a big, muscular guy with an overactive laugh slasherizing people! But, running over little old ladies crossing the street is just not something you want to do. For Real.
Have you ever seen festivities like this? No, you haven't.
They have turkey, wine, cranberry sauce, greens, mashed potatoes and a mime. Everything, just everything. Very festive. Until everyone starts to die. At this point, everything goes really bad, pretty swiftly. What can you do?
I enjoy turkey. I enjoy quality time with myself and others to make clear what I'm thankful for. I'm not sure I'd appreciate someone killing me. Although, getting rid of the mime wouldn't be so bad. Ya know, maybe it should be a general rule: Don't hurt people on major holidays, except Halloween & Arbor Day. I mean, you think that would just be something you'd know from birth. Apparently not.
Hey, the kind of loud & unpleasant grossm'n who's married to the lady whose house we're at... Take all that in & I'll start over again. I want to say that the world in this film is a wonderful place. How do I know? Because the man who owns the house is clearly a pudgerific, hairy nooner yet he has such a lovely well-chested wife. God bless! When a movie can teach you something like that, it's not all bad. (I think my Holiday Love might be increasing my Movie Love.)
Unless I'm leaping about here, the lesson of these holiday killers is to make us not want to kill people at the holidays. I certainly don't want to. I would bet you cash that everyone I saw this with hasn't gone out and killed anyone during the holidays. Home Sweet Home is a very facetious reading, let me speak it.
The thing about the killer is that he is big, he is mean and he'll tear you up. He is nuts. Ya know, insane killers rarely escape from places on August 9th or April 27th. It's always around a holiday or a big event. I think they really need to beef things up, security wise, in every asylum around the country during this time of year. A Public Service message from Hollywood that's been given early enough so you can keep an eye out all month. How 'bout that one?
They know how to make 'em... And that is great!
Home Sweet Home! I... Sure... Happy Thanksgiving...
[The review ends there.]
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