So, here we are.
There's "someone" killing coeds at an Oklahoma University. They are removing parts of the body in a rather sloppy fashion. The sheriff discovers, with the help of his interesting-looking daughter, that this all may relate to the Cult of Caninus. Small amulets with dog's heads engraved on them are tipping our heroes off. A farm couple complain of noises and lights on their land. Could it be the cultists? Could some of the town's most prominent citizens be involved? Could the sheriff's daughter be next?
The answers are probably, I think so and no. (To me, it was pretty obvious that this was being done by a cult made up of prominent citizens (doctor, dean, etc.) but we only see the cult in a hallucination the sheriff has. So, it may just be a rogue killer.)
Well, now that I've answered those questions and given you the rundown, you don't need to see the movie. Trust me. 85 minutes could be better spent elsewhere. I can tell you the ending if you write to me c/o the Paper. Please, I beseech you.
Let's just start here: I wanted to love Blood Cult. Popcorn, chocolate covered macadamia nuts and a hefty Diet Cola. Ready to love... and then the movie started... It looks like something my Uncle J.P. would've shot with the family video camera. I don't even think this is supposed to be showing at the Rialto. This looks like a home video with credits and gore! Looks bad, sounds bad. Thank God I brought my hat with me so I had something to throw up in.
OK. Some of these films look bad, really bad. But, it is really a film when my Gramma (or even Gennifer's LaLa Manana) could have shot it and she's 93-years-old?! (Her visionary days are long behind her.) Come on! I think this is a rip off! I'm sorry. I should try and stay somewhat cool. But, come on.
New paragraph. Boy, that daughter sure is odd looking, isn't she? And, her boyfriend is really... what's his point? He does nothing but take up space. Why introduce him at all except to kill him? (Well, I suppose that's as valid a reason as any but it spreads my cheese.) Oh, that sheriff is bad enough but these two clowns! Oy!
It's strange. I just watched the movie and most of it has already left my mind. Killing on a farm, the sheriff, the couple, the dean, the doctor, the hallucination. Who puts the drug in the sheriff's drink? (I can see it's a waitress. Who is she? Part of the Caninus cult? Or... do I care?) The Sheriff takes an incredibly long period of time going over the exact same series of facts. Why? And, why in the name of Jesus, don't they get the coeds (that means the "women", right?) off the campus? Oh Lord. Why, if you were a coed, would you stay on the campus? Unless, of course, this all has something to do with the Cult of Caninus. Then... all bets are off...
Sigh.
I don't know, folks. I don't see it. I don't see the point. I just see 85 minutes of my life gone. POOF! vanished... I can't believe they show movies like this. I can't believe they pay me to watch movies like this. Oh my... OK.
Deep breath. here we are now.
Movies! What are they up to now? Can I get a round of applause for movies?
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